SMART FARMER

The farmer had been taken so many times by the local car dealer that when the dealer wanted to buy a cow, the farmer priced it to him like this:

Basic Cow, $200;

Two-Tone Exterior, $45;

Extra Stomach $75;

Product Storage Compartment, $60;

Dispensing Device, four spigots at $10 each, $40;

Genuine Cowhide Upholstery, $125;

Dual Horns, $15;

Automatic Fly Swatter, $35.

Total = $595.

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Quote

One guy asks the other:

"Hey, have you ever gone to bed with an ugly woman?"

The second guy says:

"Never, but I've woken up with plenty!"

Justin Illusion...