VACUUM SALESMAN

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory.

He knocks, a real mean and tough-looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.

He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."

She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"

The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"

She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."

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Quote

Three important questions to ask an alien before having sex:

(1) Are you carrying any diseases which might be communicable to humans?

(2) Have you had sex with any high-risk partners in the past six months?

(3) Which one is your mouth?

Justin Illusion...